Lord, Why Me? "And Why Not?" God Answered!

Reading: Genesis 41, 55-57; 42, 5-7, 17-24

If you were the one to be thrown down a dried-up well, then taken out after an hour only to be sold to a merchant like a commodity, what would you feel? Joseph, the dreamer, could have asked himself a million times what he had done to deserve such an ill-treatment from his own flesh and blood. Jealousy, he would admit that but what they did to him was too much for the little favors he had been receiving from their dear old dad, Jacob.

Are you in this situation? In a situation where you don't know what life is up for you? Where there is no other way to move but out. Perhaps, we are asking God, "Why Me?" Then furthermore we complained, "I don't think I deserve this misery. I have been doing what is asked of me. Attended masses on Sundays and have been good to my neighbors, but why me?"

We don't know what God is up to, but I am pretty sure that it will turn out just perfect for us. Joseph, after being sold to the Egyptians was sent to a dungeon after he rejected the advances of his mistress. He was there, in the dark, like a criminal, a prisoner in a foreign land. He must have asked God that same questions we are asking now. He must have enumerated before God the good things he did and the irony of what is taking place with his life.

I remembered when I was sent out of the seminary formation in the year 2005. I asked God, "Why?" I could not understand and grasped what God was baking for me. But after 3 years, I found out that God allowed things to happen for me to be able to enjoy in the span of three years what I have been dreaming for - traveling. I have been in every known cities of the country, explored the heights of the mountains and the depths of the seas. I enjoyed the luxury of working and be surrounded with the company of great friends. Had he not allowed me to go through the pain of being sent out, I could not have experienced the travels I did for three years after that seemingly miserable year. And most importantly, I could not have experienced having to enjoy the very me that God created. Alone in the distant city of Cebu, I befriended myself and enjoyed my very own company.

We may not be able to see the hands of God in our situation now. It may seem too blurry and out of direction. But this I can attest, and this God has promised, He is preparing the best for us. The best that we have now may not be the best that God has in stored for you. He knows what is best! Just hold on and have faith!



Years after Joseph was sold to the Egyptians, He became the most powerful person in Egypt, next to Pharaoh. He became the governor and was in-charge of disposing the goods of the powerful country. God did not want Joseph to remain an herdsman in his country. God planned greater things for him. In order for that plan to be realized, Joseph has to be sold first.

I am sure God is preparing great things for you. Just hold on and have faith.

RESHUFFLING… Anyone?

(Tomorrows Gospel talks about the sending-off of the 12 apostles to their ministry. It is the same ministry perpetuated by the priests. I want to share with you this reflection I wrote some three years ago. Please bear with the seemingly misuse of tenses, I want to publish this as it is. For now, let me talk about reshuffling. For all you know, reshuffling is one of the most exciting events of a parish priests' lives. )


By: Sem. Erdman B. Pandero FY6 --- July 2009

I was wondering before what’s the big fuss about parish assignments and reshuffling. I mean, in the first place, priests know for a fact that he cannot stay in his assignment for life. Our years of seminary formation taught us to accept that our lives are no longer for us to decide but our bishops’. Yeah right, I was a little condescending to priests not wanting to let go of their present parish assignments. I was… not until last Sunday.

The SAHA Batch went to Lumbia Parish (our pastoral exposure parish) for the orientation and the assignments. Having perhaps the edge over something (huh?) because I was the BEC coordinator, I was pretty much confident that I could keep my beloved Batinay (I was assigned in the sitio of Batinay a year prior to the writing of this reflection). I had plans for the chapel. Great plans, so I thought!

But it seemed that the Parish Pastoral Plan was not in congruence with what I had in mind. The parish was then divided into 4 clusters (Centro, Airport, Pagalungan, Tagpangi) with a vision of bringing the sacraments and other services to the people without them flocking to the Centro. The formation team expressed their need for us to help them form formation teams in the clusters. There were 8 of us and there were 4 clusters. Using simple mathematics, this means there would be 2 of us assigned in each cluster.

The Pastoral Plan was just great. The vision and plans of Fr. Joe (then parish priest now Bishop of Malaybalay) was indeed bishopric. It was great… yeah…

Arn2, Junjie and I were assigned last year in Tagpangi. That means to say that one of us had to let go but it should not be me, so I thought! We decided to have our assignments be based on our charisms vis-à-vis the need of the clusters. (Vianney Month helped us to honestly see what our strengths and limitations are.) Craig and Ricky volunteered to help the Airport People. James’ musical prowess was greatly needed in the Centro. Pusoy and Chris stayed with Pagalungan, their previous assignments. Now, who would roll his mat and leave Tagpangi? Centro team needed help for the module making that would be used for the entire parish on their 3-Year formation program. That was my greatest strength; that was where I was most effective with – module making. I rolled my mat (over a cup of tears) and bid goodbye from my previous assignment.

Perhaps, God is baking a rather tastier cookie for me. Honestly, it took me sometime to win the Batinay folks’ heart. I was a little ‘off’ for them. Imagine this, I was assigned in the farthest end of the world after my 3 years work in a rather Americanized environment in Cebu City. It was difficult; I was literally struggling to be in and to be with them. Now that I am in, now that I am with them, now that I am a member of that community, now that I am in their hearts, God wants me out.

Lesson of the Day: This is not my ministry; my assignment is not mine to choose. This is God’s work, I am just an instrument.

My Realization: Reshuffling will always be painful to priests who give their all to the parish. It will always be painful but one has to move on. Next parish assignment please!!!

A Sheep Without A Shepherd!

Gospel Reading: Matthew 9, 32-38

Like a sheep without a shepherd. Have you ever wondered why Jesus often used the imagery of the sheep and the shepherd when He talked about His relationship with us? There were also other animals during His time. There were also cows, bulls, pigs, dogs, cats, and perhaps rabbits. But why the sheep?

Sheep are meek and fragile creatures. They have this dominance hierarchy. Wikipedia describes them as having the "natural inclination to follow a leader to new pastures." They don't think on their own, they simply follow their leaders. It doesn't make them less as an animal, they are just simply created that way. Naturally meek and trusting, they simply follow. This is the reason why shepherds are very much part of their lives. The shepherds guide them to the greener pasture, keep them away from harm, and tend to their other needs. An absentee shepherd will surely do harm than good to the sheep.

We do have a sheep here in the Archbishop's House. It was given as an offering to the Archbishop in one of his masses. We don't have any shepherd though, and I am not yet ready to take that responsibility. The sheep learns to live a life on its own. After months of staying here, the sheep tends to forget what it really is - a sheep. Now, it seems to be acting as though it were a dog. It is now eating left-over foods. Left on its own, the sheep tends to imitate the dogs nearby. It cannot decide on its own and live as it should be, a sheep.

Like a sheep without a shepherd. I can only imagine what will happen to me if Jesus were not with me. I am a wayward son. I easily get sidetracked. At times like the sheep in the Bishop's House who acts like a dog, I tend to forget that I am an adopted child of God, redeemed by the blood of Christ, and called to live as a member of a pilgrim community, Left on my own, I know I can create havoc and disaster.

My story is also everbody's story. Waywardness is the story of every man and woman. As Jesus noticed, we are like sheep. We need a shepherd who will be our guide. Jesus says, "I am the Good Shepherd!" He knows how to bring me to the right path, to lead me to greener pasture, and to tend to my needs. We all need the Good Shepherd.

There are times when we are a little bit off from the track, a little bit deaf from His calling, a little bit calloused in making moral judgments. Do not be afraid! Jesus, our Shepherd, is always with us. We may at times feel that we are at the edge of a cliff, rest assured that when we let go and let God, He is there, ready to catch us at every fall. Be trusting! Hold on! With Jesus at our side, we are no longer shepherd-less sheep for He is the Good Shepherd.

If Only I Can Touch His Cloak...

Gospel Reading: Matthew 9, 18-26

If only I can touch His cloak, I shall be cured. I can only imagine how difficult it was for the woman to live a life of such misery for 12 years. During Jesus' time, a woman in her monthly period was considered unclean. Being unclean means no contact with anyone. Anyone who touched her or even rub elbows with her would also become unclean. One had to go through the ritual of purification every time one had contact with an unclean person. The woman in the Gospel today must be very, very lonely. She had no contact with anyone for the last 12 years of her life. She was physically and emotionally disturbed. Physically, having to bleed profusely was no joke. Emotionally, losing contact with anyone was a torture.

Let us see how she approached Jesus in comparison with the Roman official who met Jesus and knelt down before Him. The official had the face to face Jesus. He knelt before Jesus and expressed what he wanted from Him. On the other hand, the lady was behind Jesus. She didn't have the face to face Him. The Jewish community regarded her as unclean. Her religion considered her a sinner. She must have asked herself what had she done to deserve such bad fate. She must have asked herself what must she do in order to be healed and live a normal life again. Before Jesus, she felt that she was unworthy.

In one way or another, we are like this woman. At times we feel that we are not worthy of the love of God. When we honestly look at ourselves, we see so much of our sinfulness. The other night, a woman sent me a message. She told me she was such a bad woman and her sins were unforgivable. She could not even look at the cross without feeling unworthy.

If only I can touch His cloak, I shall be cured. This woman must have heard so many stories about Jesus. The streets in Galilee and Capernaum during Jesus' time must have discussed more frequently the many miracles that He did. The woman knew Jesus could heal her. But she felt unworthy to face Him. The only solution was to get the miracle out from Jesus without Him knowing it. Such a clever idea! If only I can touch His cloak, I shall be cured. Jesus turned around and said, "Courage, daughter! Your faith has saved you!"

If only I can touch His cloak, I shall be cured. Let us learn from this woman and see our Christian lives the way she did. We are sinners, true enough, but we are still loved by Jesus. Even the tassels of His cloak can heal us. Let us then bow before Jesus, or kneel before Him, or like the woman, stealthily approached Him. Surely, in whatever ways we are doing it, He will listen to our cries. Surely He will also tell to us, "Courage! Your faith has saved you!"

Extra Baggage! - 14th Sunday in Ordinary Time

Gospel Reading: Matthew 11, 25-30


I was 26 years old when I first had my chance to take a plane from Cebu to Manila. There seemed to be so many gates and so many directions to follow. People seemed to be doing their own thing. They didn't notice a lost soul wandering around and in them. Cool! I wanted to be cool and to act as naturally as I could. I didn't want to ask anyone. I wanted to be in! I didn't know what to do.

I was at the Check-in counter when the lady asked me, "How about your bag sir?" I casually answered, "No, I'm fine." I didn't know what she was asking about. I've seen in some movies that I need to drop my bag off but I didn't know when and where. And I was also thinking, if this the place to drop my bag off, how to reclaim it?

There I was walking down the hallway unto the Waiting Area with my heavy backpack and 1 big heavier carryall bag. I noticed that everybody seems to be simply gliding with small hand carry bags but there I was, overly burdened.

Life, they say, is burdensome. Even newborn babies know this. We hear them cry as soon as they are out. But notice that as soon as they feel comforted, they start to come calm down. They are still in the same world, breathing for their life, knowing by instinct that sooner or later, they will grow up and have to face the rugged truth about life. But the mother's caress is enough for them to be assured that it is difficult but it will be all right. The mother's caress is enough for them to sleep through the night.

We don't need to fly far away just to know what pain and suffering is. We look at our relationships now. We have troubled marriage, daunting in-laws, drop-out kids, and at times stubborn parents. We deal with each them on a daily basis. But like the newborn baby, we may not be able to get away from the situation but we will be comforted by the people around us. However, this people comforting us need the same comforting that we do. The comforting they can give is relative to their own personal circumstances. We need real and lasting comforting.

Jesus Christ comforts us. He said, "Come to me all you who are burden... and I will give you rest... For my yoke is easy and my burden light." At times we want to do things our way; solve problems and resolve conflicts the way we have been been doing it. He assures us that He will offer rest for all of us. He Himself knows how it is to go through the pains, difficulties, and challenges. He was once with us and lived us one of us. He knows all of it and He also knows the comforting of His own Father. This is the comfort that Jesus will give us. He will give us the love and comfort He received from His own Father. He calls us to take our rest. But at times we are too busy to notice Him. We are preoccupied with so many things that we fail to acknowledge this God who comes to us and offer us love, comfort and rest.

I could have enjoyed my first walk in the airport premises had I listened to the lady's invitation to have my bags be checked in. I could have glided through and enjoyed my first ever airplane flight.

On my succeeding flights, I made it sure that I only have my hand carry bag with me and nothing else. As to my extra burdens, well, I do have the entire airline attendants to help me with my baggage. Why bother adding burden to myself when somebody who knows the entire trip and the airplane capacity offers me some minutes of rest? Jesus does the same. He doesn't take away the burdens. He shares it with us.

Solemnity of the Immaculate Heart of Mary

Gospel Reading: Luke 2, 41-51



Today we celebrate the Solemnity of the Immaculate Heart of Mary. Yesterday we celebrated the Solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

The heart of Jesus is that of a Divine heart taking part in the pain, agony and suffering of the world. The heart of Jesus, pierced and wounded, shows us that though He is Divine, He does have the feel of what it is to be human. He was here. He experienced the cruelty of humanity. And now, He offers us comfort, in its most pure form, because of His Incarnation. His Incarnation allowed God to walk like us, live like us, be in pain like us. When we are in pain, when we are suffering, be assured that Jesus knows our pain, He knows our suffering.

How about the Immaculate Heart of Mary? The heart of Mary is a human heart made perfect because of her unwavering fiat to the Father. Mother Mary is our hope! Her perfect humanity assures us that we too can live a life of grace. Humanity is not without hope. Humanity can still live a perfect life as long as we keep our gaze at Jesus, only at Jesus.

Mary sets an example for us. Her Immaculate Heart is the living proof that a human heart can faithfully follow the will of God to the end.

The Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary perfectly depicts the play of the Divine and Human Love. The great love of God towards humanity and the endless attempt of humanity to respond to this love, and that is to live a life of grace and in grace. The heart of Jesus assures us that God will always be faithful to us. The heart of Mary gives us hope that humanity has the capacity to be faithful to God. We celebrate the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary with humility to ask God for the grace needed for us to be faithful to Him.

Solemnity of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus

Day of Prayer for the Sanctification of Priests.
"Why the priesthood?" Each candidate to the priesthood is asked this question before his acceptance to the seminary. Each candidate, as he nears the ordination, asks the same question to himself.

I asked myself this question some three years ago before I decided to apply back for the seminary formation. At that time, I was receiving a monthly salary enough for me to have my breakfast at Midtown Hotel, Mid-day snacks at the nearest Pizza house, and sip a cup of Venti from Starbucks on a daily routine. I paid annual tax equivalent to that of my sisters' annual salary. It was just great life!

But why the priesthood?

One hot sunny afternoon, I was on my way home from Sto. Rosario Church after I attended the 4:15PM mass when I felt such deep loneliness in the deepest part of my soul. I could not explain what the feeling was all about. I could not say that I was bored because I had been spending my weekends either on an Island-hopping spree or under the waters for Scuba Diving. There were also weekends spent at home with my family. But on that day, and the months following that day, I had that great loneliness.

One day, while I spent an hour praying inside the Church, I asked God what that feeling was all about. I was looking intently at Him then slowly, peace came back to me. I was gazing at the Cross and I had such peace and contentment and told myself I want to spend my life gazing at the Cross. I want to spend the rest of my life in prayer and in adoration of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

It was difficult decision to make. I mean, I was on top of my career when decided to start once again my journey to the priesthood but it was all worth it.
Every priest has his own story of how God called him to become his minister. Every priest has had that great encounter with the Lord. A day when he said before God, "I want to spend the rest of my life loving and serving you."

But years in the ministry, with all its fuss and buzz, tires the weary heart of the priest. The human needs, wants, and desires are sometimes so powerful that temptations to live a life a bit far from the loving gaze of the Lord weakens the priest. Priests are living reminder of the unwavering presence of God and His eternal love for humanity. Priests do a lot of noble things in the parish. But they are still humans. They are as weak as we are. They are as fragile as we are.

Today, in the celebration of the Solemnity of the Sacred Heart, our Church invites the faithful to spend this day in adoration and in prayer specifically intended as an offering to her priests. We pray that today, priests will renew their commitment before God and before His people, that above all and before anythings, his life is dedicated for God. His life is solely for God and the fruits of this loving relationship are the ministries he is working on for the people of God.

Thank God It's Friday!

Thank God It's Friday (TGIF). Long before I had the chance to be part of the working class of this country, I just couldn't understand what was there on Friday nights to look forward to. I mean Friday nights seemed to be just like any other nights. It starts at nine in the evening and ends six hours later. But when I had my share of having to go to an office, to deal with supervisors and managers, and to try hard hitting targets and quotas, it was then that Friday nights became such a relief. But then Friday night came, Saturday morning followed, the next time I opened my eyes, it was again time to be in the office. Friday nights offered relief, albeit temporarily.

Jesus, in our Gospel reading today, said, "Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest." Did Jesus say come to me and your heavy loads will be gone forever? No! He said, "I will give you rest!" Jesus Christ offers that we spend our Friday nights with Him. He invites us to cling to Him for rest.

We can never do away with the difficulties and challenges of life. But let us not be weary. Instead, let us be consoled because someone offers Himself to us that we can take our rest.

Furthermore, Jesus invites us to "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart... For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Instead of looking for Friday nights to console us momentarily, we embrace the yoke of Jesus. We will still be facing the same difficulties and challenges, but this time around, with Jesus Christ with us, it will be easy and our burden light. He assures us that with Him, "you will find rest for yourselves."

May we all learn to run to Jesus when we are tired and weary. He alone can give us real and lasting comfort. He alone can give us lasting peace. So instead of saying TGIF, we say, "Thank God for Jesus!"

My Sins Are Forgiven?

One of the cases (made up stories) I read from the collection of cases for our Ad Audiendas Confessiones (On Hearing Confessions) that created a great impact on me was that of a 65-year old woman who went to confession after hearing mass. She said, "Bless me Father for I have sinned. I have had an abortion and it haunts me until now." The priest was shocked because the woman was of age and pregnancy was impossible for her more so with abortion. He was silent for a while. Then the old woman continued. I was 18 when it happened but until now I still carry with me the guilt. The priest asked, "Is this the first time that you confess this sin?" The old woman replied, "No, I have been confessing this sin and even almost every month but the guilt haunts me until now."

The case was just a made up story but I think somewhere, somehow, in one of the corners of our churches, the story holds true. This case happens everyday though it wears different hues and shades but it does happen. I can only imagine how the old woman spent her days, for the last 47 years of her life, in such guilt-stricken heart. I can only imagine how she felt every time a new born baby cries. She lived her life feeling that she was not forgiven by God.

In today's Gospel reading Jesus said, "Courage, child, your sins are forgiven!" No amount of sin can separate us from the love of God. No amount of sin can equal the love of the Father. No amount of sin is ever unforgivable before Father. He loves so much the world (all of us) that He gave His only Son, Jesus Christ, so that whoever believes in Him may have life, life eternal."

But we often doubt this love of God. We often think that sin is more powerful than love. Jesus Christ assures us, no amount of sin can ever keep us away from Him. Today, Jesus reminds us that His love for us is beyond the bounds of human imagination. His love for us is greater than the sin we committed.

When we are in sin, we are away from the presence of God. It is not because God hides himself from us, but that we hide ourselves from Him. God is simply waiting for our return. Like the father of the Prodigal Son, he awaits patiently for our coming home.

If we are in a state of sin and are now haunted by the guilt of the mistakes we have committed in the past, Jesus Christ has offered us the Sacrament of Reconciliation. He awaits for our return.

Let us trust and believe that God loves us so much and that no amount of sin we have committed are ever unforgivable for Him. He offers us forgiveness. He offers us His love. All we need to do is embrace this loving and forgiving God. We also pray that those who are forgiven by God, like the 65-year old woman, will try to forgive themselves as they are forgiven by God. May we truly be like our Father, loving and forgiving.

You Are the Christ!

Who do people say that I am? Jesus posed this question to His disciples some 2,000 years ago. Peter was bold enough to declare, "You are the Christ, Son of the Living God!" And Jesus asks us now, and you, "Who do you say that I am?"

Jesus is the baby in the manger on Christmas day. He is the reason for the burgeoning of sales to our business tycoons - we are talking in billions here. On the other hand, he is the hope of the children singing their carols hoping for some penny to be handed on to them with some shouts and smirks from the half-opened doors.

Jesus is the King on Palm Sunday. He gives an added P500 income to street vendors on Saturdays prior to Palm Sunday and an added P700 more on the Big Day. Everybody shouts hosanna to the King of Kings with palms raised up high.

Jesus is the Crucified Son of God on Good Friday. He is the reason for our walking down the streets barefooted on a hot and sunny Good Friday. We cried for His pains and mourned for His death. We looked up at the Crucified Christ with so much love for the Son of God and remorse for our own sins. And on a Sunday after His death, His resurrection, we sing again the grand melodies of the great Gloria!

But who is Jesus in between? Jesus said, "whatever you do to the least of brethren you do it unto me." Elsewhere He says, "I was naked and you clothed me, hungry and you fed me, thirsty and you gave me drink, imprisoned and you visited me."

Jesus is our neighbor in between the festivities we celebrate in His honor. We don't need to look for celebrations to meet the Christ and to know Him better. We simply have to open our eyes and see with the compassionate heart of the Father the people around us. We see suffering, we see pain, we see injustices, we see famine and hunger. There is Jesus. There He is waiting for us to get to know Him better. When He asks, "who do you say that I am?" We answer, you are the brothers and the sisters around me.

May we all be real brothers and sisters to everyone especially those who needed us the most. May we all have the heart who listens to the cries of the least, the lost, and the little ones.